As we plowed through Tod's juicy, drippy burgers, John kept us entertained with a seemingly endless supply of stories.
"... so then the kid just threw himself down in the middle of the aisle and started wailing, sounded like a dog being tortured. His mom's face just turned red; I thought she was going to start crying."
"Ugh," Kathleen shuddered. "I've been in the checkout line behind little kids that start doing that and it's terrible. If I ever have kids -- which I don't ever, ever plan on doing -- I'd never take them to the store. How embarrassing."
John shrugged, "I just felt sorry for her," he said with a smile. "I mean, she had a baby strapped on in one of those carrier things -- couldn't be more than six months old -- plus a cart already full of groceries. So I just walked up to the mom and asked if she wanted a hand."
"I'm surprised she didn't think you were some kind of perv," Tod said around a mouthfull of dead cow.
I'm not, I thought.
"Guess she was just that desperate," John said. "She said yes, please. I picked up the little kid, threw him over my shoulder and followed her to the checkout and her car. The kid was so surprised I think he stopped screaming long enough for her to checkout. Started up again just as we were leaving of course, but at least she made it out."
"Did people give you funny looks when you went back in the store?" I asked
John grinned, "That's the funniest part. I totally forgot what I'd gone to the grocery store for, so I just went home."